MY very IMPORTANT, AWESOME AND SPANKINGLY GRAND PREVIEW!
I’m sodding off into obscurity for a few weeks…off into parts unknown. ‘The game’ comes out the day before I get back to civilization so I figured I’d best write this preview now since A.) we have most of the pre-release info and 2.) technology doesn’t seem to exist where I’m going. My invite to London to play the game must have got lost in the post…so for my average 90 or so regular weekly readers…I give you a CRAPPY review!
WWE Universe Mode
This…is by FAR the biggest improvement/addition in wrestling game history…at least for me. Like fat Greggy-poos…I used to write down match cards on note pads and play them out on the N64 and allow my imagination to fill in the gaps (story). Now, it does everything for me. I can play DX versus L.O.D. and have it turn into a heated feud where the Road Warriors turn heel and beat the life out of HBK and HHH…I can put Jake Roberts, Jimmy Snuka and Terry Funk in an old-school stable…add them to the SD! roster and watch them work their way up the roster…perhaps Snuka and Funk win the tag titles and Jake attacks Orton…maybe Cena turns heel and joins the nWo with CAWs of Nash and Hall. It’s never ending and I can tweak it till my hearts content or just sit back and let the Universe unfold. With 100 cut-scenes and a full year by year calendar of events, I can’t see me playing anything else in SVR11.
Now, I don’t mind playing RTWM but I’m not a big fan…for me, it gets in the way of me having everything unlocked from the start and being able to run my imaginary version of WWE. However, this year, the genius’ at THQ are allowing us, via DLC to unlock everything from the start. So with SVR11 I can play the RTWM in my own sweet time and actually enjoy it. On top of this, there’s free roaming where you can save Diva’s from flaming trash cans and throw Randy Orton on a table full of pizza! In the words of the Jerichoholic Ninja “Road to Wrestlemania in SVR 11 will be superior to the year previous! Hi-ya!” Speaking of Jerichoholics…I’m most looking forward to the Y2J storyline but there’s also a versus Taker RTWM where 5 different guys get a crack at ending the mania streak. Christian, Cena and lil’ Rey Rey also have their own stories to play through……
Here’s a picture of Kelly Kelly…just because.
DLC Fo’Shizzle Dizzle Bizzle Sizzle Pizzle…and whatnot.
This year!!! There will be 3 DLC packs! The first one is a freebie! You get Chris Masters…which ain’t so great…as well as Kelly Kelly and Rey Jr. in Halloween themed costumes…and some other stuff…DLC 2 has Bulldog and Luger as well as Nexus members (in Nexus gear!!!) Otunga, Gabriel and Barrett as well as the NXT arena! Awesome pack! Oh, yeah…and Layla. DLC 3 has some alt.attires for Taker, Cena and Punk as well as…wait for it…..waaaait for it! a WCW arena!!! Hell yeah bee-atch!
What a big-ass roster this year! 70+ ‘superstars’…we get some pretty amazing guys this year, other than the current guys I mean. Bulldog, Luger, Jake Roberts, Jimmy Snuka, Rock and Austin…heck, even Paul Bearer is in (NPC only I’m afraid). There’s two guys to be revealed on the legend roster still…apparently they’re AWESOME! I mean, they must be if THQ marketing saw fit to say they were unveiling them 2 or 3 times and then not right? Anyhow, we’ll know when the game comes out…they’re currently saying we’ll find out the last legend spots a few days before release but I don’t believe those dirty, lying, lazy no good, stinking, skanky, sleaze bag hos….only kidding…or am I? Yes…I’m not. No, THQ are lovely….honest. Last two legends will be revealed after we’ve had them leaked on the internet.
This…is a game changer kiddies! I won’t go on and on…you’ve seen not much else other than physics for months but dude…awesome.
Using 3 tiers of options we can now create our own stipulations in a match. Want a first blood HIAC match? Bloody hell! You have it in 2011! 2 out of 3 falls submission cage match! You bet your cotton panties! We were told we’d have a video last Friday but Tank very selfishly got married and it got held up. Who in the blue hell would think that a life altering event should be prioritized ahead of a match creator video? Seriously…bloody nitwit.
A billion and one extras…
Seriously…there’s so much in the game this year…from a wrestler coming out with two titles to a WCW ring to tons of alt.attires and unlockable belts…there’s not much that I could ask for. Masked Kane…Ministry Taker…old-school HBK (and don’t forget Shad’s alt.attire!!!). Story designer has been revamped with branching storylines and triggers and a ton of extra scenes…patterns are back in CAW mode…more SS moves…create-a-sign…you can pin after a lot of moves by choice…there’s so many more extra stuff…awesome stuff.
My slightly distracted conclusion (as I’m watching Juvi Vs. Jericho while I type)
This year…anyone that seriously calls THQ lazy can kiss my British ass. They’ve out-done themselves. I’d have been happy with half the new stuff we’ve seen. I honestly can’t believe how awesome this years SVR will be. It’s not a question of whether you should buy it…it’s an absolute must buy…if you don’t, puppies will die and you will have a miserable existence for the rest of the year while we – the one’s born with good sense will be 450 splashing Vince McMahon through tables and throwing chairs at Lex Luger.
Goodnight my pretties.